Percolating

Still deciding if I want to change my story to first person. I don't want to touch it again until I know for sure, although I may just change the story to first person, save it as a different file so I don't lose the original, and read and compare the two versions. This is a big decision, and I want it to be the right one.

I still haven't plotted my timeline or done any brainstorming, which I really need to do before I move much farther. I'll do that tomorrow, and then reward myself by outlining that new story idea.

My page count hasn't increased in several days. That doesn't mean I'm not writing. (You hear that, Inner Critic? I'm NOT lazy and I WILL do this. Hah!)

Mulling Over a Big Change

I just finished reading a chick lit novel today that was written in first person, and I'm wondering if my story would work better from that perspective. If so, that might explain the dissatisfaction I've been feeling with it. Which might mean I'm not a basket case, but rather a normal writer who doesn't want to work on her story until she figures out what's wrong with it.

Another story idea popped into my head today, very different from this one and still not romantic suspense. Just a skeleton, but I will sketch it out in the next few days.

WEEKLY SUMMARY

Well, this week I've written almost ten pages (1.5 were added in revising)! I haven't written one page every day as I'd previously planned, but my page-per-day average is higher than one so I'm satisfied--for now. The heady thrill of writing is beginning to fade, but I'm committed to seeing this thing through!

I'll have a lot of time over the upcoming holiday to work on my story, but I'm trying not to overwhelm myself with unreasonable goals. With me, there's always a fine line between Helpful Goal and Paralyzing Expectation, so I'd prefer to err on the side of caution in that regard.

I'm still amazed at the story I've decided to write, because it's outside of the realm of things I usually read. It has a "women's fiction" quality to it, very Oprah Book Club, and I actually prefer to read mysteries and romantic suspense. Still, I figure writing any book will be a valuable experience, even if it's not my preferred genre and not the way I necessarily want to "make my mark," because it will help me build a variety of skills as I go that I can always take into my next project(s).

Yay, JJ, for not freaking out that this might not be a book you'd buy yourself!

Fear of Success

Yes, you read that right. I had this morning off, but instead of writing my scene or brainstorming or making a timeline, I FREAKED OUT. I didn't want to work on my story because then I would finish my first chapter and that would be, well, scary. Then, I was exhausted when I got home. I worked on my story some, but my main accomplishment for today seems to be that I figured out what was going on so NEXT TIME I can be ready for this. Urggh.

WRITTEN TODAY: 0.5 PAGES (double-spaced)

Still Going. . .

Yay for me! I woke up freakishly early this morning and worked on my first chapter for about an hour and a half. (Apparently, I can READ one page a minute and WRITE one page an hour. Hmmph.)

I'm proud of keeping my goal of writing one page (almost) every day, although I would like to increase my daily page count on a regular basis and not just for my upcoming eleven-day holiday. ***JJ does Snoopy dance***

The revise-before-I-write thing is yielding awesome results; I keep adding important details to flesh out what I've already written, and my story keeps getting better! It also gives me ideas for scenes I need to write. So far, I haven't really had a moment of wondering what to write when I sit down in front of my computer; instead, I already have scene ideas inserted into the story where they (probably) need to go.

This morning, I backtracked and wrote about Kate getting ready for work as well as a Very Important Memory. I think I have one more scene to write and then my first chapter (Kate's first day back to work) will be finished. Woo hoo!

I need to do a timeline for my story. My story will span at least one year in present-time, so I need to plot out when the Tragedy occurred so I can use seasons, holidays, etc. appropriately. My timeline also needs to include Kate's birthday and life history so I can coordinate the timing of her memories and don't make any Fatal Errors in the timing department.

I also want to do a free-write about my story, basically brainstorming where my character has come from and where she is going. (This probably won't be in the text of the story, but will be part of the 600 pages you don't see.) I think this will be a useful way to generate ideas about how the next section goes since I can't keep writing one chapter about every single day of this woman's life!

I have a Christmas party tonight, so I'm not sure I'll get to write any more today. ***sniff***

WRITTEN TODAY: 1.5 PAGES (double-spaced)

Back on the Wagon

After barely writing anything this weekend, I was ready to get back into my story today! (From now on, I'm definitely going to write on Saturday mornings before my hubby wakes up; mornings are my best time to work and he likes to be on the computer on his day off. I may or may not write on Sundays, depending on whether I feel I need a break, but won't feel I'm violating my page-a-day rule if I decide to take Sundays off. That rule is about discipline, not guilt!)

I've actually written more than my daily page count suggests, because I tend to add details and flesh out my earlier writing as I revise.

I changed the result of yesterday's pregnancy test. Today, I've been writing about Kate's second day back at work. She is slowly reaching out to her friends and co-workers, but most of the story is still happening inside her head.

WRITTEN TODAY: 1 PAGE (double-spaced)

Day 4: In Which JJ Does Not Write, but Enjoys a Day Off

It's Sunday and I'm feeling lazy, so I may not work on my novel at all today, and that is okay.

The Computer Hog

Well, I woke up this morning with all kinds of ideas for my story. When I woke up again two hours later , I couldn't remember most of what I'd planned. I did write one small scene where Kate takes a pregnancy test, but I may change the test results later.

I was disappointed that I didn't get to write much today; hubby was on the computer until about 4 p.m., but he really needed the down-time. SOOOOO, I asked him for a wireless keyboard compatible with my PDA for Christmas, so I can write while he's on the PC. That will be good for the week after Christmas when we are out of town, plus I can use it any time he wants to play his computer game. Ahh, compromise. :)

WRITTEN TODAY: 0.5 PAGES (double-spaced)

Revision is Everything!

I prefer revising (literally, "seeing again") over the actual writing. I always revise from the beginning before I write anything new. Wording and structure issues that need correction seem to stand off the page when I come to my work with fresh eyes, and I can eliminate something more easily if I wrote it yesterday or last week instead of five minutes ago.

Revising before I write also gives me a sense of where I am in the project and where I need to go when I begin to write for the day. Not only can I see what needs to be eliminated, but it also helps me "see" the things that aren't there, the details or even whole scenes that need to be added to make the story complete.

Another benefit of revising is I go is that I'm much closer to having a solid draft by the time I get to the end of the actual writing, because the first 90% has been exhaustively revised. Which is good, because by the time I finish writing I am barely able to spell my own name, much less make quality decisions about my work. :)

I also keep a separate document where I put every sentence or lengthy phrase I cut. It's not like I'm going to go back and use any of it; I just like knowing nothing I've written will be lost until I'm absolutely certain I don't need it. If I look at all the discards after I've finished (which I rarely even bother to do), they seem painfully out of place compared to my finished product and in fact remind of how far it has come!

For yesterday's writing, I was planning to write about Kate's first day back to work after the tragedy. However, most of it ended up being about Kate's drive into work, struggling with her grief and preparing herself to be with people, with only a brief summary of her actual day at work. Next, I'm going to write about her first evening at home after returning to work, being by herself for the first time all day. This may sound tedious, but I'm trying to stay in her head and show how she's coping with day-to-day tasks so recently after the Event.

I've come up with a great twist to heighten Kate's internal conflict, which should be interesting to explore. I also found the last sentence of the book, which is cool.

WRITTEN TODAY: 2.5 PAGES (double-spaced)

An Idea is Born

I've never really pursued creative writing because I was afraid I wouldn't have anything to write about! Still, I keep thinking about the old adage, "Write what you know," so I decided to write a book about a woman facing some of the what if's I've pondered (exhaustively) in my own life. Yesterday morning, I started thinking about those issues in terms of writing a story, and soon the ideas were rolling!

My story is about a woman overcoming a terrible personal loss. It will flash back and forth between her current pain and her memories of the past. Eventually, she will work through her grief until she is able to able to see a future for herself beyond just Getting Through Today. This will be a very internal novel exploring how her relationships with her past and with herself change as she allows this situation to make her stronger instead of destroying her.

I kept thinking about my story during free moments throughout the day (in the van on the way to work, walking to the bathroom, etc.). By lunchtime, I had the name of my primary character (Kate) and the two most important secondary characters. I knew her external problem, her internal conflict, and how the story would end. At lunch, I wrote a brief outline with general physical descriptions of these three characters and what types of hurdles the Kate must overcome to move past her pain and grow as a character, as well as some research questions I needed to answer.

I then went home and wrote two pages. It was so exciting to see those two pages in black and white! It was also a little weird, stopping after only two pages when there is so much story to introduce, but I stopped to spend time with my hubby. (I am going to commit to writing at least one page a day; the actual number will vary due to my other commitments in the evenings.)

The great thing about writing a story with a disjointed timeline is that my scenes can easily be moved around if they don't work where they are. That way, I don't have to worry so much about getting what I've already written right before I move on. It also means I can reveal information slowly instead of info-dumping on the first page, both to create suspense at the beginning (what exactly has happened to make this woman so sad?) and also to reveal things about her character as she moves through her memories to let go of the past.

A great example of a successful disjointed timeline is The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger, by far the best book I read in 2005. The back-and-forth worked great in that story because of the time-travel aspect, but is also a great way to show how past relationships formed and made these characters into who they are in the present.

It's also a very realistic way to get to know someone: when we meet a person in real life, that person doesn't give us a chronological life history at the first meeting; instead, we get little snippets of the past over time that work together to give us an understanding of who that person is and where s/he has come from. That's how I want my story to work, to slowly introduce Kate to us as she moves back and forth in her own mind between her memories and her present experiences. The past and the present will work together to allow Kate to grow and to become a stronger person, so I want that to feel like a realistic process to the reader.

I found a great quote yesterday: "There is a difference between a book of two hundred pages from the very beginning, and a book of two hundred pages which is the result of an original eight hundred pages. The six hundred are there. Only you don't see them." Elie Wiesel

This means (to me) that any scene I write to flesh out either Kate's backstory or her present struggles will help me understand her character and her story better, even if I don't include it in the final draft. I'm a ferocious editor, so cutting things later won't be a problem, but I really needed to know it's okay to write more than I need because none of it will be wasted.

WRITTEN TODAY: SIMPLE OUTLINE; 2 PAGES (double-spaced)

The Journey Begins, or, A Decision is Made

Lately, I have been doing some real soul-searching about my purpose in life. I recently completed my masters in English Literature and have been pondering pursuing a MLS (Master of Library Science) degree. My whole life, I have loved to read and have wanted to be involved with books in some way. I definitely want to pursue the MLS, but now's not the time.

Here's some backstory: When I was growing up, my favorite book was a flip book of Little Women and Little Men. I would read LW, flip the book over to read LM, and then flip it again and start over. I can't tell you how many times I flipped that book! I loved it so much because of Jo.

Jo was a strong woman with a barely-controlled temper. She had a great family and good friends, but what I liked best about Jo was that she was a writer. In one of the book's most touching scenes, her spoiled little sister Amy burns Jo's manuscripts, and I ached for her loss.

I didn't want just to read about Jo; I wanted to be Jo. Jo grew up and ran a boarding school; I had already decided I wanted to teach elementary school. Still, she never forgot she was a writer and neither did I.

I remember my worst--and last--reading of Little Women. I had just gotten married and my first year of teaching elementary school had been such a disaster that I had quit teaching forever. I picked up LW as a comfort read, but it was no comfort at all. Instead of seeing myself as Jo, the writer and teacher, I realized my life had come perilously close to that of Jo's older sister Meg. Meg was a married woman with a cute little house and cute little kids whose main concerns were her laundry and what to cook for dinner. My life was starting to turn in that direction, but that was NOT the woman I wanted to be. I felt like a dream had died and could never bring myself to read that book again.

Fast-forward almost ten years. I have worked several jobs since then, none as rewarding as teaching could have been (even though I have never regretted leaving it for a second), and I'm feeling lost and stuck and very, very confused. My husband was encouraging me to apply for the MLS, but I just wasn't feeling it.

Instead, I decided to write a book. It doesn't have to be good or ever get published, but I don't think I can live the rest of my life without doing it. I told my husband I wanted to postpone the MLS for another year and pursue my writing. He was wonderful and supportive (as always), and I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted.

I'm really going to do it!